Received the dreaded phone call last week, from the Saint who stated that I need to go and meet with her this week to discuss increasing the boy's attendance. Oh how my lovely little bubble of feeling all was well was popped. Of course he needs to increase it, he can not get very far in life on two mornings a week, but I wonder what their goals are?
I am sure that I will be told that there are other children that qualify for his space within the unit and that could attend full time. I am also sure that I will be told that he is a very clever lad who needs the lessons so that he can achieve their recommended number of GCSES. Maybe I could play some type of Bingo in the meeting whereby I tick off the above sentences when they are spoken to me.
Time marches on far too quickly for the boy. In two years time we will be looking at colleges for him to attend once he has finished his GCSEs. He is adamant that he does not want to spend any longer in education than necessary, unfortunately for him and us it looks as if the battles of trying to get him motivated and engaged aren't over yet. Year 7 was so awful in terms of him becoming unwell that I feel we lost a year. It then took another year to help him recover sufficiently to get him into the unit but his health has then fluctuated due to the stress of starting somewhere new, coping with the noises and other students in his class. His sleep is all over the place, because we changed the medication to bedtime so that his nerves were better under control when he woke up. He has only just started again to suggest activities that he wants to do when he is not at school, so he is no longer totally wiped out by attending those two mornings. It is a bit of a roller coaster where his energy is concerned. I feel as if I am playing catch up all of the time.
The boy has hated school all his life and as a consequence the misery of getting him in has not made our life a bed of roses either. The thought of having to go through the battles again to get him in just fill me with dread. Life was so easy when I home educated him and yes I can hear you ask why don't I do it again? Can I tell you that I have already noted the picture of the "alternative " provision leader at the school which he attends? She looks really nice. I do not feel so scared if we have to go down that route. I have heard that resources such as "blended learning" exist whereby work and materials are sent from the school. This is my Plan B, locked in a dark chest somewhere in the back of my mind just waiting for me should I need it. I have negotiated my way through harsh educational bureaucracy up until now and I am no longer afraid of being creative in order to ensure that he is educated but most importantly kept well emotionally.
Plan A, well currently the boy will also meet with the Saint and say what he feels he can do and then build from there. He had already muttered to me about increasing his hours before the phone call as he likes it there and feels comfortable. There is a small chance that this could work. I have found that if I keep quiet and not talk too much about school and my own expectations of him, he will initiate meeting his goals himself. There needs to be no talk of rewards, no lectures about the rest of his life, just an acknowledging nod and a smile so that his tiny tiny spark is not extinguished by over enthusiasm. I just hope like mad that this is enough. My patience is certainly being tested!
Now for a corny moment, hope you guys don't mind, it is something that I have been longing to do for ages on this blog so here goes:
My sister and I during a rather dark 2013 started to send each other songs of the week to help us make sense of the craziness that was at times suffocating us. The songs could motivate us, put our feelings into words or cope with strong emotions.
Hence my song this week is "Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce Springsteen. My gym instructor has been having the class dance to this for the last three weeks and it is a song very close to my heart. Not so much in a starting a relationship perspective but it just takes a small action to start a change. I do not know where my actions will lead, but I am willing to try rather than wait for it to happen to me. So far this has proved rather exciting and not at all the disaster that I had anticipated!
Enjoy, Clairexxxx
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