Anxiety Monster

Focussing on the girl today who has had a turbulent few days recently. She started to come home from school, crying because she had not achieved any points for her work, which she thought that meant she must have been chatting when she quite clearly hadn't. Or the teacher at swimming was cruel to her friend and I had to do something about it.
I found that by validating her feelings and agreeing that she must be worried but did she really think that she was chatting did not work, however a cup of tea, toast when she got home soothed away all her frustrations and I  put it down to needing to decompress like I do most days.
Her parents evening came along and her teacher also noted that she was less energetic than normal. She was also concerned too and wanted to help. She commented that the girl was a bit of a perfectionist and wanted to please everybody.
Hmmm, where had I heard that before? With a sinking heart I realised that the Anxiety Monster had claimed another one of my children and all the battling that I had done to rid itself from me amounted to nothing. It was sat there, smiling smugly and large as life. But I am not going to let it win.
The teacher suggested that the girl keep a journal to record her worries and if she showed them to her she would write a reply,  so that the girl would not let them grow and turn into something even bigger. We also started this at home too and she engaged really well. It is strange that my chatterbox daughter prefers to write her thoughts down rather than say them to me, but as long as she is getting those thoughts out rather than letting them fill her mind, I am happy to go with it. We also finally got the " would you rather be home educated " question out into the open and whilst she admitted she was jealous of her brother and she would also like to be with me, she also stated that she loves her friends and teacher too.
She left school, today, remarking that her head was empty of worries and she felt happy.  She had used the journal in school and the teacher had responded really well.
When I was about 12, my mum gave me a Judy Blume diary which I used for similar reasons. I have kept a diary pretty much ever since and find it so helpful. I was touched to discover that my dear Granny also kept one and that we had a similar style too. I use my diary now to discuss positive events too.
So Anxiety Monster, we are on to you and we will fight you.

My next post will describe another tactic in my strategy.